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VALLEY OF DECISIONS
my cgl asked me what my tag meant on FB....
was i being obvious or was i plainly saying it out loud for once?
like a tug boat dettached from the other tugboats and main boat,
distanced further and further away by unsuspecting waves.
u wonder if u shd just paddle away from then now and not bother
returning to where u first got lost and heck about everything.
what makes it hard is....
the tug boat is anchored to the main boat.
no matter how drifted the tug boat is, it is still attached.
unless the tug boat pulls off the anchor.
valley of decisions.
i said i did a silly thing yesterday. it was worth it i supposed.
sometimes, there's no returns required.
why do people suffer from amnesia?
they either lose memory of the things that matter most to them
or things that hurt them most and these memories are blocked.
i'm suffering from partial amnesia ~
this path i've been treading upon.
it is a valley of decisions.
i never like to follow rules. it kills creativity and makes things routine.
i guess im a non conformist.
so things are getting kinda stifling mondays to fridays for me.
i think i belonged to the outer society where i can cheong with all
my ideas. it still feels like my second skin doing my two projects.
but maybe i just have to wait for the right time to exit.
which brings me to the next valley of decisions.
spoke with my bro abt the crossroad tat i'm at.
been very open and honest abt my current thots with him and....
though it's a personal decision. it may end up in the lost of two.
i always believe this is the time to try everything u ever wanna try and
not wait til you r too old and the time has passed you by. then regret.
but there's a lot to weigh out.
more allowance. but better hello kitty? worst bulbasaur?
more challenging stuff. but drift further away from d ancient landmark?
valley of decisions.
the dozens and one things going through me.
my brain needs a break. my heart needs a rest.
haven done much this week really.
sometimes when things get too extreme, i run away.
being in brief denial and avoidance may be the best alternative.
i can shut off pretty effectively.
valley of decisions.
had a very close shave with the lords of the road yesterday.
they dun usually set up at that stretch of road at that kinda time on
that particular day of the week.... but they did, that night.
most of the time i don't but i did that night. but it was v light really.
*thu night tanjong pagar 2-3am* think twice.... ~
i realized i wasnt safely strapped when i was passing thru too....
thankfully....
if not, there goes my cash and my points.
so close.... ~
i had a revelation this week.
never trust mums when they say they have no money.
my mum always niam abt how she wont buy this and that and we shd
all save money and how money is really hard to earn....
so i always thot she was really depending on me to support her but
i came to enlightenment that i've been smoked.... -____-"
to think i've been giving her so much money.... i'm so cheated. LOL.
i was telling my mum how i wanna get something done but its v ex....
the times you tell your mum you wanna get this but you cant is when
you're hoping they will get the hint and sponsor you.... hahahahaA.
so i said i may not do it coz i'm totally broke and all my sob stories....
have my car insurance to pay this month and my dental beautifying
and all the ah longs i needa pay tributes to.... so i'm totally broke.
then she said when do i need the money. by cash or by cheque?
never underestimate a mother - they have secret savings.
and mothers will always be mothers.
they never abandon their young.
and no matter how independent i am, i still run back to them.
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