. . . .

supposed to sleep now but i guess my body clock is still twisted.

twisted trying to finish my projects then the mad rush to cramp

everything for the exams then the late nights in BKK....

this is gonna take some time to return to normal..

but not for long....

in a mere 14 days or less.. the WHOLE CYCLE STARTS AGAIN..

so damn tired seriously.. but what to do.

though it's countdown to the end of the course

but it cld also be the prelude to the next 5years of stress..

back from a short break to BKK..

it was a really different kind of experience dis time 'rnd

i wished i had more time to really sit back and relax

and totally and absolutely escape from reality

or to do the things that i really love.. to backpack

to the remote hideouts and be amongst the rural simplicities..

but i experienced what life with two means..

apart from the blinding lights of love and hormones secretion..

the life that u will spend with another in close proximity after

peeling off all the other glitz and glamour and attractions..

that's the barest hardest truth you will need to face and

ask yourself if you can see yourself in it and thru it for the

next 50 - 60 years.. no gimmicks, no special promotions,

no buy one and derail mid way kinda stuff..

it's no refunds, no exchanges once you decided on it..

of coz nothing's fix til you exchange ur vows and slip on d ring..

but love is not just love.

love is two lives together.

aiming for 2HDs this sem but i think one of them is gonna be a FLOP.

i thought that i shd do well since i really gave it my all but tutors

are humans afterall.. they mark according to what they perceived

are good and well done and i flipped big time over it..

and i found out i had grammar problems.. or so she said.

tat crap module really jolted me in my chase..

and for some days, i really doubted myself.. doubted if all was just

a dream.. a lofty dream that i shd just wake up from........................

what to do.. i tried my best. hoping it wont be too bad a result..

ELSE my overall is gonna be dragged down and it's gonna be such

a demoralizer to all d efforts ive put in and i wld definitely need

truck loads of motivation to push thru the last 5 modules..

later dates for the MCAT are released..

seriously considering which date i shd book for..

im no genius nor am i a gifted brainer.. i need to study and

understand a ton of things from scratch.. plus i dun have a silver

spoon in my mouth.. so i wld still need to feed myself for at least

4 mths if i wanna give dis my best shot.. it's all abt the money..

and i need to make d decision.

the best decision i know how.

and the wisest decision that i'll ever make thus far.

and what's next from now?

shd i take the plunge in april? or shd i last til later?

most likely it wld be april if i reap the expected harvest..

but till then.. i need to think and plan. rethink and replan and

weigh out everything and lay out everything to consider..

was browsing thru a friend's FB today and those photos

really got me almost resolving to 放手一搏..

the world is out there and there's really much more to see n gain

if we never try,

we will never find out how much we are capable to achieve

somehow, i know it's calling me out there.

i just need to wait out a little while more..

just another 14 days more or so

and i will need to make my move.

. . . .