. . . .

pressure has been building up.
stress is ever increasing by the day.
self doubt has began to invade my private space.
fear is beginning to set in.
dis is a fight tat now im harboring thots of quitting.
can i pull thru n win dis victoriously?

or am i going to fall flat on my face?

i do not know.

have i underestimated my opponent

n overestimated my opponent?
shd i turn back n watch d battle pass me by?
or shd i give it all ive got n fight a worthy battle?
it's all easier said than done.

how matter how tough i think and know i am,
d fear is getting too surreal tat i fear.
tat d mind cldnt go to rest except to ponder..
and ponder deep n hard it has been doing.

is it a suicide mission tat is being masked up in pseudo courage?
or is it a honourable worthwhile effort w tangible reward?


truth is, self doubt is eating everything painted.
and d heart n mind know no remedy at dis juncture.
or perhaps, it's all a warning sign i must see..
and not insist d path tat i planned was right.


which is real and which is distraction?
which is fantasy and which is courage?
my heart n my mind desire to know d way.


wisdom i need to seek n know.
WHAT n HOW.

. . . .