. . . .

now i can understand when ppl say they forget their birthday.

i always thot it's fake.. how can someone forgets his own birthday.

but i totally forgotten abt mine this year.

i was only reminded of my birthday when i received an e-greeting

in my mailbox in d wee hrs of 27th june.

i turned ard to fluffy and said, hey, it's my birthday tmr!

looking at the time clock i've configured here..

im reminded that i've ONLY 30 days left.

got into an incident with a cyclist on d road last night and

i guess that kinda pushed my limits n tolerence which have been

building up the past 3 months.. i stoned. i stopped. i paused.

everyone thinks it's a breeze going on a 3 mths no pay leave, with

nothing to do except studying. some ppl wonder why im always

studying every single day. some ppl thinks itz easy.

nobody really understands what im doing n why im doing.. n

i dun wanna bother to explain as well. i just gotta keep doin

my things and hope they r worth my efforts n hard work.

BUT IM FREAKIN' STRESSED OUT AND STRETCHED.

my temper isnt good. im shutting out everything n everyone out.

doing only d necessary.. pay bills. mothers' day. fathers' day. birthdays.

the stakes are high. at times, i wish to quit. i wish to bow out.

i wish to just walk away. i wish to say thank you, i've experienced

and i've tried and i dun want to try any harder or longer.

i wanna go out. i wanna play. but i've freakin so much more

to study and understand. i wanna blaze thru d exam.

but im really tired out, really exhausted too..................................... .

30 more days. can i make it? can i excel?

new term is starting this week. lectures ever wkend.. and the need to

push and score for the last three papers..

yet to take d deferred paper and results for last sem..

ARGH.

maybe i shd just give up the idea and stop chasing d dream.

what if they dun happen in d end? what if i dun have d capacity n

capabilities to accomplish them from d very beginning?

30 more days to exam.

probably 25 more days to complete study for everything.

im no genius. im trying my best.

i hope i can take the stress.

i hope i have made d right decisions n have been taking d right steps.

i want to come out of this a better and stronger person.

achieving d dream i've always dreamt of achieving.

拼什么。拼梦想。拼未来。

. . . .