. . . .

4.5 months have come and gone..

it's back to work in a few hours' time.

i probably dun have to wait 30days to find out that i most likely

screwed up the paper.. im disappointed and demoralized for sure

but i know it wasn't my best effort.. many errors made which

were only realized at the tail end of preparation.. few days before

the paper to be exact.. SIGH. very costly mistakes indeed..

but then again.. i think i did my best and tried my best,

given my background and foundation to learn everything from

scratch within such a short time.. but the thought of having to

continue studying for it is very terrifying and repelling....

the learning curve is sooooooooo steep.

and it's a lonely trip coz most ppl wld not understand why

you are doing what you are doing.. HAI.

was stoned for some time aft that paper but then aft some

spaced out time.. im not gonna give up.

will try again next year.. though it sucks to miss the boat dis

year and not even have a hope of getting in for next year..

WHAT TO DO.

but i guess, with that decided upon.. i still have a major decision

to make soon.... to stay or not to stay.

seen much while i was away and on no pay leave..

where u r valued only when u are perceived to give ur all

to them and are on their side..

sometimes, ppl turn opposition when they are pushed to a corner.

not bcoz they want to be against the norm but they r forced to.

simply put, i dun look forward to going back to work at all.

not with such m********* controlling the place..

sick.

time to sleep now.

time to focus on d remaining papers for now.

and the tons of projects!!

. . . .